Farewell, Dad

Here’s probably the toughest part of losing my dad — moving forward. Moving forward hurts, but it is inevitable. Although his life ended so abruptly, mine is, Lord-willing, far from over. I am in the middle of college and in a defining part of my life. Checking out or taking a year off is not an option.

So, I have to figure out how to live in my dad’s honor. A big topic on my mind lately, with the fall semester and busy life about to restart, is how exactly I can do that. Here are a few ways I have thought of, and maybe some of them can apply to you too.

For one, I can follow his example in loving and living for Christ, loving our family, and standing up for what is right. His heart for children was evident through his youth ministry, being a sponsor for kids in need through Compassion, his work with Clement Arts, and his service in foster care and adoption.

I probably won’t start my own nonprofit or be a youth pastor, but I can still be a light and an encouragement to those in need. I am already currently sponsoring a boy in Tanzania through Compassion, and that would definitely not be a reality without my dad’s influence.

I also see the way he was so loyal — to my mom, to our family, to his friends, and to his job. That is something I hope to mimic. A big dream of mine is to get married one day, and I want to be just as faithful to my future wife as he was to my mom. I also want to love as purely and as rightly as he did, so again, that means putting God first and being selfless.

Those things are kind of obvious, but what can I do on a daily basis? I’m about to move back to Auburn and go back to school. How can I live life in a way that honors him now? Like I said, I’m not going to up and start my own nonprofit; I’m not my dad. Honoring him doesn’t mean doing all the exact same things as him, but I need to put the things I said above into the small, everyday things.

The college life can be overwhelming. There are so many things calling my name and so many things I want to do. I am involved in several different clubs, and I work as a sports editor for The Plainsman on top of taking classes. Inevitably, there are some things I have to say no to. I think I got this from my dad, but I am terrible at saying no to opportunities and things I’m asked to do, and I end up putting more on my plate than I can handle. I think a big part of honoring him is prioritizing what I do with my time and my effort. What did he encourage me in the most? That is what I want to put my time into.

He always encouraged me in my faith and my participation with the church, which has been Lakeview Baptist for me since moving to Auburn. I want to get more involved with them this upcoming semester. He also showed how proud he was of me in my work with disability advocacy, whether that be as a FARA Ambassador, with the ADA club at Auburn, posting on social media, or writing for The Plainsman.

That leaves my classes, sports reporting with The Plainsman and my relationships with my friends. Ever since I was a kid, he always encouraged me in my schoolwork and making good grades. He assured me that it would pay off but he was never overbearing about it, which I admired. I think part of that is that he could trust me to make good grades on my own.

He and my mom were and are my sports articles’ biggest supporters. He liked to proofread my work, and I kept him updated on what I’d been writing about. He told everyone I was a sports writer and was so proud of it, even if it was for Auburn. I will honor him by doing the best and most energetic, truthful reporting I can.

Lastly, I can honor him in my friendships by being loyal and selfless, like I mentioned before, but also being positive and uplifting and spreading the love of God.

“Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.’” (Matthew 22:37-40)

That leads me to my final point: yes, my dad and I had different interests and abilities, but there is one other thing I want to learn in his honor. He left his guitar to me, and I want to be able to put it to use. I picked it up as an older kid, and he taught me a few chords, but I never stuck with it. I know FA and my slowed coordination will make it a challenge, but I know how proud he would be to know his son was playing his guitar. That will give me the strength I need to persist. Oh man, I wish he was here to witness it and play with me! Even to learn a few simple things would make me so happy. Maybe I can learn to play one of his songs.

Dad, you’re my inspiration and my motivation. One day, we will be reunited, but until then I will try my best to make you proud.