Farewell, Dad

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I want to take time to reflect on the man who painted a picture of love like no other.

My dad loved everyone around him, but he especially loved his family so well. When I think of what he taught me, I think about the wisdom with which he spent his time. Time is something we all want more of – more time with family, more time to exercise, more time to read or practice a hobby – but what tells the most about a person is what they do about it. Are they willing to sacrifice for that precious time doing what matters most?

I say this with all sincerity in me when I tell you my dad did. We, here on earth, think his time was too short. There’s definitely more we’d love to have him around for, but he used the time he had so well and his love shone through it.

He sacrificed time for me and Gracie, and he set aside time for my mom. As if he wasn’t already sacrificing time among us, he and my mom sacrificed further when our family began doing foster care in 2013. He later became founder of a non-profit called Clement Arts that supports the mission of adoptive families in Columbus, Georgia, and touched many lives through his work there. He also sacrificed to support our family as Clement Arts launched off the ground by continuing his work at TSYS. He loved it all.

But in 2019, it became too much. Working two jobs wasn’t giving him enough time to lead our family the way he wanted to. He wanted to be there for me after my FA diagnosis in 2018; he wanted to be present during Omarion’s journey after we adopted him in 2017. He sacrificed being in control of the organization that he founded and poured into for years. Why? He did it because he loved us more than any of his accomplishments. He loved Clement Arts very much and continued to support their work after stepping down, but we were his priority.

That was far from the first time he showed love through sacrificing his time.

My dad loved video games. He loved The Legend of Zelda, Pac-Man, and all things Nintendo. I still remember him coming home in, I’m thinking 2007-ish, and surprising us with our first cordless video game console – the Nintendo Wii. We were all ecstatic, and we had some great times playing Wii Sports, Mario Kart, and my personal favorite, MLB Power Pros – the best baseball video game ever created (and that includes MLB The Show).

He had a few games that he specifically liked to play on his own. One was Legend of Zelda, but he also had some monster or zombie hunting game that I don’t remember the name of. He would play it a lot and then quit it altogether. When we asked him why, he always said something like, “It’s too addicting. If I keep playing it, I’ll get too into it and waste all my time on it.”

He knew video games were a time-killer, equivalent to today’s TikTok or whatever social media. (yes, me deleting TikTok is me learning from him). Apart from playing games with me or the family, he rarely got ensnared in a video game after that, although he got hooked on Fortnite with me over COVID after we got a Nintendo Switch. He always knew how to prioritize his time and channel his energy to what mattered. I think that’s the most honorable quality of him I aspire to mimic.

The time he cleared, he made count. I enjoyed the time we spent together: whether it was playing catch, going to the movies, lifting weights, going to sporting events or just playing video games, he was a fun and lighthearted person to be around at times. But what I didn’t enjoy so much that I’m now so thankful for is the guy-on-guy talks we had. He made sure not to stray away from the hard topics, and they are things I will never forget.

He taught me how to treat and respect women and how to never take them for granted. He was also adamant that, whoever I dated, I never settled or lowered my standards. He pointed out my best qualities and made sure I knew my own worth and that it was never found in a girl, but he was also confident that I’d find a kind, beautiful woman who loves God. Those are my main qualifications to this day.

Just like I wrote in “Love without end, Amen,” my dad’s love did not die with him. He sowed a seed in the one’s he loved that will be a blessing to many for years to come.

With Gracie set to get married in June and as I look into my future, I know his legacy of love will continue on in our future families as well as the one he left behind. My mom continues to pour into all the lives around her with strength and beauty each and every day. Where her children would be without her, especially this last year and a half, I don’t want to know. Gracie will be a lovely bride and continue to honor Dad in her marriage, and in the short time my dad knew her fiancé Zach, he loved him – no doubt he’ll be smiling down on that wedding day. I will continue in the love he showed me until, Lord willing, I find the one, and we’ll all continue to remind Omarion of the love dad had for him as he grows and finds his path.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Dad. Thank you for your unconditional love that has no end.